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Lockdown 2

And the 'interesting times' continue. During Lockdown 1, I often heard "Thank goodness the weather is so lovely and we can be outside a lot of the time. I can't imagine what it would be like during the winter months..." We can certainly imagine it now: days that we don't see the sun at all, leaving for work and returning home in darkness, colder temperatures... A lot of us feel a very real sense of isolation and dread. When will this end? What will next year be like? Will we get back to normal - whatever the 'normal' may turn out to be? The honest answer is: Nobody knows! However, I know this much: worrying about what may or may not happen is not helpful. Let's take it one day at a time. There seems to be an awful lot we don't have control over but there's is also quite a bit we are able to control! I would like to share with you my 'top tips' for giving yourself the best chance possible to steer a steady course Don't watch all the News reports (Don't leave TV or radio on in the background) Connect with others. Walk and talk if possible. Call friends. Go outside every day, however briefly. Eat well Sleep well (Netflix box sets will keep!) Watch funny clips, films you love, look at albums...feel GOOD Be kind to yourself- accept some days just SUCK Take time to do nothing and just BE or meditate Feel grateful. Take vitamin D ( Please be aware I am not a qualified doctor or nutritionist)

First FasterEFT/ Eutaptics World Summit

I have not been at all ‘good’ updating my blog posts so “Must do better…!” Instead, I tend to update my Facebook Page ‘Calm & Focus’. If you would like to find out more about what I do, please LIKE my Calm & Focus Page to receive the notifications. I was recently approached to take part in the upcoming  FasterEFT/Eutaptics World Summit which will be held 1-3 December 2020.  This is exciting and nerve-racking in equal parts! I will be interviewed  about my practice, especially my work with children and young adults. My interview will be live on Wednesday 2nd December @ 7.30pm GMT Register here for more information and to secure your place

Dazzled by Frazzled!

I attended Ruby Wax’ ‘Frazzled’ show at the  beautiful Regal Cinema in Evesham, Worcestershire. Ruby shared the ups  and downs of her mental health journey with a crafty mixture of  frankness and wit. She also talked about Mindfulness and even invited  the audience to take part in a few simple exercises. It was great to see  that the show had sold out and personally, I was delighted to notice  that 20-25% of the audience were men! She managed to adroitly see-saw  between empathy and humour and I felt the got the seriousness vs humour  balance spot on. As someone who is fascinated by the brain, its plasticity, the role  of the amygdala, the release of cortisol, the effect on our cognitive  functions etc, I was surprised to hear Ruby mention several facts and  statistics about the brain that I myself use in my workshop about  Stress! I got quite excited and kept thinking  ” I knew that!… I agree …  Absolutely right…”. By the time the Q & A started in the second half, I just knew I  had to ask her about her experience of Tapping. The mic finally made it  to my row and I asked if she’d heard of Tapping. “Tapping? Yes, of  course I have!” she said, frantically tapping around her eyes, she then  mentioned that’s it’s only useful when you “do it every day” and I said I  agreed with that. I also took the opportunity of mentioning how our  brains have a negative bias and are 4x more likely to remember negative,  rather than positive experiences and the importance of consciously  going to happy emotions and memories because ‘Neurons that fire  together, wire together’ and how this is especially helpful when people  are grieving for loved ones that they’ve lost. (Someone in the audience  bravely shared previously how she was struggling 2 years after losing  her dad to cancer). I wished I’d recorded our brief exchange but it all  happened too quickly. I’m so glad I spoke up, though, and if it means  just one or two people in the audience Google ‘Tapping’ and finds EFT  and/ or FasterEFT, it will have been totally worth it! Respect for Ruby. She’s spreading the word that needs to be spread… I’m going to end with my favourite quote of the evening: “In the future, it will no longer be about survival of the fittest. It will be survival of the wisest!” And this one I also love.  I’m not sure who first said it but I Love the sea metaphor: "You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf!"

NHS Anti-stress workshop

I was invited to deliver a workshop to a team of  around fifteen nurses in a large Birmingham NHS Hospital. We all know  that NHS staff have been under a lot of pressure lately with budget cuts  and understaffing, not to mention the emotionally and physically  demanding. work that they do. To perform highly in such a job, they need  to be able to cope with stressful situations. In many cases, they  harness this stress and it can be a force for good but sometimes, we all  need a little help to maintain a balance. Some people do exercise, or  meditate, or smoke (not advised!) but I taught them other techniques  that they can build into their busy lives to help deal with stressful  situations and anxiety. We looked at how stress manifests itself in our bodies and our  thoughts. We considered particular stresses in our daily life, be it  private or professional. I felt privileged to be given the opportunity  of teaching this lovely group of Health Professionals how they can help themselves to cope with the tremendous challenges and stresses in their lives.

Pinterest Pressure to be Perfect

I was having quite a chilled day yesterday: pottering about, doing a  few little jobs and even bribing my youngest to play a game of Rummicub  with me. I consciously reflected on just how relaxing it was not to be  racing round, trying to get through an endless list of tasks. I felt  content and ‘in the moment’… until I made the mistake of downloading the  Pinterest App on my mobile! Up popped 100s of ideas of how 1000s of  (mainly) women are getting ready for Christmas. I read through a few of  them and wondered how these women have the time to make these creative  masterpieces. Clearly, they are all much more artistic than me! They are  finding time to sit at their kitchen table, assembling crafty  masterpieces, baking ingenious Christmas treats. They are more organised  than me. They manage their time more efficiently. They are no doubt  successful, happy and content. Their children are probably at the other end of the table, engrossed in their own unique project. I bet their  glue gun does not clog up every 5 minutes, the glitter doesn’t get  spilled, the cakes do not end up lopsided! So instead of inspiring me it all left me feeling quite deflated for a  little while. And then I gave myself a talking to: there was a  suspicious number of ‘Nutella’ projects and ‘Terry’s chocolate orange’  creations. I bet a lot of these posts are from professionals who are  paid to spend their days churning out creations, photographing them and  putting them on Social Media, in order for us to feel inspired to buy  into the fantasy and end up feeling we SHOULD be doing it all! At what  cost? So I urge CAUTION in the run up to the Festive Season. We cannot and should not attempt to do it all. Spend a few hours being creative but then don’t feel guilty about serving a ready meal or beans on toast. Bake the cakes but save time by leaving the bed sheets for another week.  Is anyone really going to notice? At the end of the day, Who is the ONE person who puts you under pressure? Who is the person with high expectations? Who is the person  who can change your thinking? We all know the answer. TAP! This feeling of inadequacy… How do I know? Where do I feel it? (Start tapping) I release and let it go… Let it go…Let it go… PEACE! Repeat until the feeling’s gone ♥

Emotional Toothbrush

Tapping daily is my ’emotional toothbrush’. It has become a habit, a  routine that ensures I maintain good emotional hygiene! It prevents  little niggles becoming big problems, just like brushing prevents  cavities appearing. However… occasionally, I need a thorough emotional  equivalent of a ‘scale and polish’ and it is quite hard (and sometimes  awkward!) to administer this myself. That’s when I contact an  experienced practitioner. Another practitioner helps me clean up in  places where my own toothbrush can’t quite reach. So if you have discovered tapping and are good at maintenance but  there are some cavities from years ago that won’t disappear and need  attention, contact me and I will get you into my chair! But the  treatment I shall offer you does not involve needles, anaesthetics or  root canal – promised. If reading the above makes you at all uncomfortable, you probably have a phobia of visiting the dentist. Remember: we can tap on that :)

Sea, sand, surf and SOME sun

I have just worked out that I have probably spent about 30 summer holidays in Mid Wales. 30 x 2 weeks = well over a year. There are no big theme parks where we go, no rides, no clubs or particularly  sophisticated restaurants… There’s not even any guaranteed sunshine! And  I think that’s where the attraction lies exactly. Because the weather  is changeable, we can’t expect it to be wall to wall sunshine and it  rarely is! It is precisely because the weather is NOT good all the time,  we really appreciate it when the sun shines. We feel grateful, happy  and delighted and make the most of it. Often spending the whole day on  the beach or in the sea. Making the best of every warm ray. For me, it  makes the Welsh sunshine very special indeed. This made me think about other factors we appreciate in our lives.  Quite simply, unless you have to do without, you don’t always appreciate  what you’ve got. It’s only because you know what thirst is like that  you can savour a simple drink of water, you appreciate the cool air from  a fan when you step out of the heat, you enjoy the weekends and  holidays so much more when you have a job and without a doubt, you never  take for granted the light when you have been surrounded by prolonged  darkness. We all experience darkness in our lives at some point: brought  on by  unhappy relationships, financial circumstances, failing mental or  physical health, the loss of a loved one. As a FasterEFT practitioner, I  have started to make a difference. It’s not my aim to banish your  darkness but to help you find the light switch, to help you stand, on  tiptoes if necessary, to reach that switch and make you see light again.  If your light switch is broken or you just cannot remember where to  find it, let me point you in the right direction!


Complete the contact form if you would like a FREE 20 minute online or telephone consultation or if you would like the pdf of my presentation at the FasterEFT Eutaptics World Summit 1-3 December 2020, please specify in the message section.

I am based in Worcestershire, UK.

As well as face to face sessions, I also work online.

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© 2020 by Calm and Focus

DISCLAIMER: I am not a qualified doctor, psychologist or psychotherapist. You should consult a doctor in all matters relating to your health and particularly in respect to any symptom that may require medical attention. 

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